Hard To Love
by EAV13
Summary: Stacie has a traumatizing She goes to her 2nd year at Barden, and finds out more about the group of a-ca-pella girls than she would've ever The girls help each other through their problems while trying to win the ICCA's But when feelings get involved, things get


**(Staubrey, Chaubrey, Bechloe, Steca, Stloe, Mitchsen, - a little Jeca, Unicycle/Aubrey, Donald/Lilly, Bumper/Amy, and Chloe/Tom.) Barden University setting. Mentions cutting, rape, abuse, and several disorders and disabilities. Scenes of cutting and abuse. Usage of foul language. L for lesbianism! Yay! Scenes that may include gayness, bisexuals and lesbians! ^^ (Other pairings mentioned, don't worry.) - EAV**

* * *

_ People ask me why it's_

_so hard to trust people._

_I ask them why it's so hard_

_to keep a **promise.**_

* * *

_Stacie's POV_

"I'll just be out for a while Stacie, daddy just has to go to work okay?"

I nodded, hugging my dad before turning back around and sitting down to play with my dolls, my teddy bear I got this morning propped up against my thigh.

"Josh, you said that you would never go back to there again," My mom frowned, approaching him, carefully stepping over all the toys strewn along the floor.

I looked up at the sound of my mother's voice, pausing my playing for a second.

"I know darling, but I just have to wrap up a few things, then I'll be done forever, and find a steady job."

"Hmm... Fine. But, just be safe Josh."

"You know I will, Meghan." My father responded, kissing my mom on the cheek, before shrugging on his jacket and picking up his suitcase, stepping out the door.

I could see my mother shed a small tear, and by that point I was thoroughly confused.

I stood up, walking over to my mom and hugging her leg, telling her, "Don't cry mommy," like all kids in the movies.

Looking up, I saw her nodding, her brown eyes gleaming with unshed tears.

I just clung onto her tighter, as she bent down to hug me back.

* * *

"Josh! You're back home early darling," Meghan said, more of a statement than a question.

He nodded quickly, eyes roaming the room.

"We need to leave," I heard him slowly say.

My mother frowned before dropping her dishrag, running into her room, and then mine, her dark brown hair swishing behind her.

Josh bent down in front of me, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"We all need to go somewhere, okay sweetie?"

I nodded, clutching the teddy-bear to my chest, as my father led me to my room.

Both my father and I stepped back into the hall as my mother lugged three big suitcases out the door.

They had a little communication, unspoken, just through eye contact and physical gestures.

After a moment, they nodded and we headed down the flight of stairs going to the bottom floor.

As we reached the exit door, my mom and father stopped, and I could visually see shivers run down their spine as we heard tires screech at the entrance.

My dad stopped us, silent and with guilty eyes.

"Meet me at Rockaway Village Hotel."

I could see my mother frown, again, before stating, "No, we are not splitting up."

"I need you and Stacie to be safe, I'm the one who made this mess anyway -"

"Bullshit! Don't you dare play hero with me Joshua Conrad! Stacie and I need you!"

I flinched at the raise in my mother's voice, hugging the teddy-bear tighter.

"Meghan, you are strong, and beautiful, you can handle yourself, one of the traits I loved about you,"

This time, she didn't yell, just salty tears streaming down her face as my dad turned to me and crouched down.

"Be good okay Stace? I love you, just take it easy with your mother."

I nodded, and wrapped my arms around his waist tightly, before letting go once more, even though I didn't know where we were going, I didn't really question anything, this has happened before really.

My father nudged towards my mother, freely crying, tears running down her face like small rivers, not breaking.

They shared a kiss before my father said that we didn't have time, and ran out the entrance.

My mother grabbed my hand and brought us out the other exit.

As we loaded things in the car, a sense of dread suddenly filled within me, suspicion settling down in my mind, and I had a feeling I knew what was coming.

We entered the car, and as my mother backed out into the road three load gunshots sliced through the thick air.

I shared a look with my mother, and my earlier suspiscions were confirmed, as we heard screams and neighbors yelling names.

Somewhere in between that I heard my fathers name, and apparently my mother did too, as she moved her hand to cover up her mouth, one shaking hand on the steering wheel.

I pressed my face against the car window, yelling out my father's name.

My mother quickly quieted me down, and now I was just silently crying as I played with my teddy-bears hat.

She kept on checking behind the car every now and then, afraid the mean people were back and chasing us.

During one of her looks, I saw a big truck barreling towards us, and I could make out the silhouette of a gun in someone's hand.

I screamed, and my mother turned toward me with big worried eyes.

I kept on screaming, pointing hysterically at the truck that now rammed into us.

The impact jolted me, and I jumped up, airbags inflated as both cars ramming into the a concrete park fence, instantly bursting into flames as gas tanks leaked onto the pavement.

My door slanted open at an awkward angle, but the space was just big enough for me to fit through.

I wiggled through the crack, still holding my bear close to me.

Running over to my mom, I let new tears fall down my face.

"Run Stace." She hoarsely croaked, coughing from the smoke.

I nodded, crying as I shoved through the crowd of people that formed, hearing sirens wailing behind me.

I could feel people trying to grab me, and soon, I finally ran into someone familiar.

My really nice and fun neighbor, Riley.

The thirteen year-old girl stared at me with a worried expression, mouthing something I couldn't quite catch.

But the only thing I was glad for was a sense of home, as I collapsed into the girl's arms, sobbing uncontrollably, before collapsing, either from shock or the smoke filling my lungs, I didn't know.

* * *

I screamed, bolting upright in bed, sobbing.

Even though that happen when I was seven, twelve years ago, I remembered it so easily.

It kept on coming back, hitting me like a train, opening the deep cut that held in my heart.

It _hurts._

And for some reason not just mentally.

I frowned, and checked my hand.

It was covered in bruises and cuts.

I looked around, my eyes roaming the room, until it stopped on the beside table, where a broken glass was located, what remained of it scattered on the floor.

Sighing, I wiped my face clear of tears, carefully stepping over the glass, tip-toeing my way to my room's bathroom.

Grabbing a hand-wrap from the first-aid kit, I washed my hand, hissing as the water made contact with my skin, and after I put antibiotics on the wounds, I gently wrapped my hand with the gauze.

I stopped for a second, staring at my reflection in the mirror.

A single tear leaked from my eye, and I angrily brushed it away.

I've cried dams since what happened.

Taking deep breaths, I slowly walked out of the bathroom, trying to make sense of my footing in the dark room.

Nearing my bed, I slowed, and felt around for my lamp.

I cussed as my hand slapped down on where the broken glass was supposed to be.

But, it wasn't there.

Confused, I spun around a few times, trying to make sense of it all.

Was I still dreaming? Or?

I hissed as the lights flicked on, momentarily blinding me.

"What are you allergic to light?" Riley laughed, laying down onto my bed, stretching her limbs.

"What, do you not know how to knock?" I retorted, smirking as I pushed her arm out of the way and moved to lean against the headboard.

The older girl shrugged, and asked me, "Did you have another bad dream? I heard glass breaking and I had to clean it up. Is everything okay?"

I sighed, shaking my head, and whispered that I had another one of my dreams.

She nodded and hugged me as I explained what it was this time.

No tears this time though.

Tears were useless to me.

They didn't help the deep scar in my heart.

As Riley gently rocked me back and forth, my eyes landed on a single object at the foot of the bed.

A worn, brown teddy bear with blue bow and missing hat.

* * *

"Here Stace, I got you this." My father said, pulling the teddy bear out of his bag.

I squealed in excitement, and grinned, hugging my father, and showed my mom my new present.

"What are you naming him?" My parents asked.

"Teddy!" I exclaimed, grinning as bright as the sun.

My father and mother beamed at me, and my mother whispered to my father as they brought out the cake.

"I'll just be out for a while Stacie, daddy has to work okay?" My dad asked as my mother was cleaning the plates we used for the cake in the kitchen.

I nodded, and played with my toys I got this morning.

* * *

"Do you like the present daddy gave you?" My mother asked when my father was gone, playing with me on the floor.

I grinned brightly and nodded enthusiastically.

My mom kissed the top of my head and whispered,

* * *

The news camera flashed as the reporter talked about the gang incident on live television.

I was on t.v, and they were asking billions of questions until Riley and her mother stopped them.

In the background, I was watching the t.v in the car, and I heard my name being called, and I hopped out of the car, just missing where the camera zoomed in on my Teddy's hat stuck in a tree.

* * *

_"Happy 7th Birthday Stace," _

* * *

**No, a sad ending. Yes, it was her birthday when the incident happened, and I'm sorry for the cheesy and cliche action scene, but it is actually very common. Stacie's father was in a gang, and they got mad after he quit. It's more common than you would think. But, the next chapter is gonna be more promising, and explores BU (Barden) and I promise to Update my Staubrey One-shots promise. - EAV  
**


End file.
